|  ^ ^ this is how i'm feeling.
i wish someone from hogwarts would come and rescue me like they rescue harry potter every year. i am in a really weird/bad mood. i haven't used this in so long, but i really need to write..and i don't have microsoft word..or i'd use that. i really would just like to be alone right now. i want so many things that i can not have. i need to be in california more than ever before. i want to be in a show. i'm sick of being underestimated. sometimes i don't feel like i have any REAL friends. if i do have REAL friends, they certainly don't act like it. i don't like my RA. she's rude. i realllly miss my mom. i can't stand my grandpa..or anyone in my family for that matter. sometimes i feel like i'm all alone in the world. i feel like i don't have anyone. i'd like to transfer to hogwarts please..i'm not joking. i feel like my life should be a reality show. i don't ever feel like myself anymore. i always feel like i'm having an out of body experience..it's weird, i know. i'm a little over weight. i need to learn how to eat right. i wish i was still in 3rd grade. i wish i was an adult. i'm a hypocrite. God is calling me to be an actor/entertainer..and i KNOW it..but i can't do anything about it right now. i wish i could pack up and fly to hollywood. a lot of people take advantage of me. i wish i could gain some self-esteem. i'm still not sure if ball state is right for me. i'd love to transfer to USC. is it weird that i still think about john ritter? i'm friends with his son on facebook..thats weird. i don't have the skills to be a deep thinker any more. i used to be able to think deeply on everything..i just can't do it now. i've become extremely general. i don't really have a strong opinion on anything..you think what you think, and i'll think what i think..i won't try to persuade you to think the way that i do. i wish i could be in a movie right now. my life should be a movie. and a book for that matter. i should write a book. i wish i had the skills to do that. i'm not loaning anyone money ever again. i'm not writing this to get sympathy. i need to vent. when i talk about my problems i feel like people are thinking "oh God, she's trying to make everyone feel sorry for her again..blah blah blah.." that's NOT what i'm trying to do. i never talk about the way i feel anymore..EVER. and it bugs the shit out of me. but honestly..most of the time, i feel like i'm on cruise control, just floating through life. thats not a good feeling. i don't understand how someone can be so skinny, and EAT all the time. i don't understand how some people can be so FAT and NEVER eat. life's confusing. i suppose i'm done for now..i'll probably do this every once in awhile.. ashlee. |
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| I GOT INTO BSU! and i'm going to disney world from july 2nd to the 7th!! with CAMERON..and ONLY cameron! yeahhh we're going BY OURSELVES. to DISNEY WORLD. oh my god. i'm reeeally excited! my summer has been fantastic so far..it can only get better!
come on xanga..rise up again! haha
<3.
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| i want everyone to know that my summer will more than likely be spent with these two lovely girrls..
<3
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